100

Today I am 100 days sober.

I wish I could say it has been easy, but it hasn't as the monkey just waits for an oppourtunity to test my will.

It was only a couple of weeks ago when I fought the monkey in the silent darkness of my livingroom, as I was doubled over in pain and felt my guts being twisted into a knot.

but you persevered...

you didn't give up...

I didn't give up.

But I was so close.

So close.

I just don't want to feel numb anymore.

I'm not going back to hell!

what do you want...

I still can't answer that question. I don't want to lose you, that's for sure.

what do you want...

Any answer I give would be a lie as I truly do not know.

But I'm hoping that with your guidance, together, we will soon figure this out.

#chasingbutterflies