1033

Well my "quit drinking alcohol" streak has ended.
It wasn't due to a relapse.
In fact it was a conscious choice!

But first we need to understand why I quit drinking in the first place.

I was a social drinker and drank to numb myself from the pain that I was avoiding in my mind.

It took a while, but I started to see a pattern.
When I drink the monkey gets out and runs amok.
When I don't drink the monkey stays put.

So after one last NYE party... on January 1, 2018 I decided to call it quits. What I didn't understand was what else I would be ending at the same time, however, that is a story for another time.

1033 days.
October 29, 2020.
What's so special about today?

Well it's my birthday party!

A make up party as my friend Kraig and I share the same birthday on the 10th, so we made plans to get together and and celebrate it tonight.

It's my 50th birthday.
I'm decided to have a glass of wine to acknowledge this milestone.
I'm going to have that glass of wine to acknowledge myself!

We ordered dinner.
A seafood tower and a Wagyu cab cut steak.
I asked for a glass of red.

Kraig was shocked at my request! LOL

The glass came.
The wine was poured in.
The anticipation as I took a sniff of its aroma.

I took a sip and let the wine kiss my tongue.
I savoured it.
I took my time to enjoy this moment.

In this moment I realized my relationship to alcohol has changed.

I have no cravings for more.
To drink in excess as I often did in the past.
To get numb.

I can now have a drink to enhance my experience.

Now I'm aware that the monkey isn't even here!

And that's the best surprise gift I've ever received!

#chasingbutterflies