200

Today I am 200 days sober.

In the last 100 days I've been tested plenty.

With the glorious weather we have gotten recently, thoughts of what I was doing in the sunshine only a year ago come to mind, like finding a patio and drinking some ice cold beer.

Or a margarita.
Or a bellini.
Or my famous sangria.

As I walk Kismet around Vancouver in the sun, I can't help but recognize all of the places I used to frequent.

The smells.
The tastes.
The sounds.

I do feel a bit sad that I don't go to these places any more.

I do feel a bit sad that I don't see many of the people I know any more.

But I have chosen to walk my path, I have chosen to let go of what does not serve me any more and at times, as much as that may suck, I understand that it must be done so I can move forward.

what do you want...

I keep thinking I answered this already, then I realize I have not.

I become aware of my mistake of looking so far ahead, fall in love with the beauty of the illusion of "what might be" that I forget and ignore what is right in front of me.

I forget about what is happening right now.
I forget about what needs to be done right now.
I forget and lose myself into a daydream.

So as much as I want to say "I am going to make it to the end of this year!"

I'll work on getting things done so I can make it to the end of day 201.

#chasingbutterflies