achievements

Last week I shared that my 50th birthday is coming.

I also shared that I stopped acknowledging my birthday as I was ashamed that I squandered “the prime years of my life” and had nothing to show for it.

I don’t have anything ticked off the checklist I created for myself, which when completed I would then “be successful”.

A friend challenged me to update that "no" list and make it a "yes" list. So I decided to make a list of what I have accomplished in the last 20 years of my life.

• I have 8 U.S. Design Patents, 2 European Design Patents and 1 Canadian Design Patent registered to my name.
• Mentored a high school design class for 5 years and from it published FortyFour Magazine, a magazine that was 100% written and designed by these students for youth.
• Ran 5 half-marathons, each with a different intention, which then lead to running my first full marathon in 2019.
• Founded the VoiceStory Foundation.
• VoiceStory Live, the show I host & produce, is currently broadcast on Shaw Cable and the Shaw national satellite network.
• Learned to ride a motorcycle at age 48.
• Hired in April 1999 and resolved the system wide Y2K issue for FICOM.
• Awarded 3 “Bug Finder” shirts for finding and resolving esoteric problems at Creo.
• I've had Cookie Monster blue hair for 15 years.
• I’ve taught hundreds of people how to snowboard.
• Got clocked doing over 100kph on my race snowboard.
• From launching Podi.ca I self-learned everything to take an idea from concept, to manufacturing, to distribution.
• Built a 1.9L turbocharged Audi and I drove it past 300kph at Portland International Raceway.
• Was a professional poker player for 8 years.
• Took my first solo backpacking adventure in 2014 and got lost all over Europe for 10 weeks.
• Experienced flying internationally as a First Class passenger (it's ridiculous).
• I can cook a great meal using only 2 pots.
• Presentation speaker at the 2020 District 96 Toastmaster Annual Conference (but I'm not a Toastmaster!)

That's what I can think of for now, but as I create this list I can feel the resistance to acknowledge these moments.

The cultural conditioning to be humble is strong.

I hear my sister's words echo in my head, as I remember our conversation from many years ago and expressed I was a failure.

"you have done more than others will do in multiple lifetimes! but when will you see this?

I see it now.
I see them all now.
Everything I have accomplished.

what do you see...

I see you.
When it was just you and me at each of those moments.
I see your big smile, proud of yourself.

just you and me...

Yeah.
It was always just you and me.
As I was afraid to let anyone in.

just you and me...

Now I see my mistake.
Now I feel my mistake.
I wasn't afraid to let anyone in.

I was afraid to let you in.

afraid to let you in...

I wanted to protect you from the pain.
From the sting of hearing "not good enough".
And by doing that I disconnected from you.

It's taken me 20 years to understand this.
To see this.
To acknowledge you.

And this is possibly my greatest achievement of them all.

#chasingbutterflies