BIL conference

April 29, 2017

Again Facebook reminded me of a moment and this time from 2 years ago.

This is a pivotal moment, as a week earlier while I was drafting up what I was going to speak, I looked down at the pages of text I wrote and my inner critic said “Everything you wrote is about you! Who wants to listen to crap? You are such an idiot and will just make a fool out of yourself.”

The pen in my hand dropped to the floor as I sat there hearing these words echo in my mind. Dark emotions flooded in as the dysfunctional beliefs kicked into high gear.

I was invited to speak the the BIL Conference and was excited to take the stage, however, after my inner critic got to me I found myself crafting an email to pull out of the event.

I did pause before clicking “Send” and chose to reach out to Jivi Saran, a speaker I only met 5 months earlier, and the following guidance she gave me changed my frame of mind forever:

“Someone’s soul reached out to your soul to hear the message you are going to share, otherwise you would not feel compelled to share your story.

You are speaking to that one soul, not to everyone in the audience, or the hundreds or thousands that may see the video afterwards… but to that one soul that needs to hear your message.

You do not know which person this soul resides in or where they may be located, however, if you choose not to share your message then that soul will not get the information it is requesting. Information which could help them get unstuck and continue walking their path.”

Upon hearing this my inner critic became quiet, the chatter subsided and I found the spark of inspiration I needed to keep moving forward.

I took to the stage that morning of April 29, 2017 and shared a dream that I made real. Shared the impact I felt after hearing feedback from a student’s mother, as to how the Design44 project “saved my son”.

Choosing to face my dysfunctional beliefs, face the inner critic that I let dominate my self-worth and self-esteem changed everything!

That is when I started tearing down the other illusions, the other stories, that I created and began to see more clearly as I continued walking my path which has led me to where I am today.

#chasingbutterflies