birthday gift

October 10 is my birthday and in 8 days I’m turning the big 5-0.

There I’ve said it! Now everyone knows!

For the last decade I’ve stopped mentioning my birthday.
I’ve stopped acknowledging it.
I’ve stopped celebrating it.

Why?

It’s not because I was afraid of getting old.

It was because I was ashamed that I squandered “the prime years of my life” and had nothing to show for it.

No high paying career position.
No 2 month vacation every year.
Not married.
No kids.
No house.
No fancy car.
No boat.
No a whole bunch of things.

I don’t have anything ticked off the checklist I created for myself, which when completed I would then “be successful”.

A checklist I created for the version of me which I identified with back then.
A version of me which I do not identify with now.

So when Mat handed me a birthday gift this morning I was grateful.
When I saw the cover the first thing my eyes saw was the person with the blue hair.
Mat then says “And he is holding a mic.”

I felt something ignite and bloom within me.

He then asked me “What the difference between being buried and planted?”

I didn’t have an answer for him, as I embraced this massive resonance I felt while staring at the book cover.

I’ve been 50 years in the making and now it’s time for me to emerge!

And be seen.

#chasingbutterflies