christmas tree

I was walking home with Kismet over the Cambie Bridge when I spotted some flashing lights and saw it was a decorated Christmas tree.

Then I triggered myself and thought "when was the last time I put up a tree?"

I kept thinking.
And thinking.
And I couldn't remember.

I think it might have been when I owned that loft... but that was 20 years ago!

20 years ago...

Yeah. Wow.

I had a little tree.
It was about 3 feet tall.
I named it Chris.

One string of tinsel and a couple of ornaments was all it needed.

all it needed...

Well gifts too! But I never really celebrated it anymore.

I think back through the last 20 years and Christmas lost its magic for me.

So commercialized.
But it was the loneliness.
Yeah.

The loneliness.

Being single during the festive season just magnifies it too. I do feel the sting just thinking of what it would be like to have someone to share such moments with.

share such moments with...

Like putting up a tree and decorating it.
Pretty simple request right?
I don't remember how it feels to do that.

I'm struggling to remember any memory of doing that.

sigh.

I can't remember.

And what I'm feeling now sucks.

#chasingbutterflies