heart of the matter

on Monday at VoiceStory Live, I shared the story of my love for my Grandfather and the impact of the unprocessed trauma from his passing when I was 19.

one part of the story is about my Grandfather suffering a stroke that crippled him, then a few months later he fell into a coma.

I went to see him at the hospital and then very strange series of events occurred, which left me alone in the room with my Grandfather with a radio that was just turned on.

the song "Heart of the Matter" by Don Henley started playing

as I looked at my Grandfather and listened to the lyrics, I swore that he was talking to me.

I'm learning to live without you now

But I miss you sometimes

The more I know, the less I understand,

All the things I thought I knew,

I'm learning again

I've been tryin' to get down

To the heart of the matter

But my will gets weak

And my thoughts seem to scatter

But I think it's about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

now as I listen to the lyrics and reflect on my journey over the last 30 years, he was speaking to me.

in fact he was telling me everything I needed to do, but I couldn't understand back then.

There are people in your life

Who've come and gone

They let you down

You know they've hurt your pride

You better put it all behind you baby

'Cause life goes on

You keep carryin' that anger

It'll eat you up inside baby

the pain I carried within consumed me and burned so hot that it destroyed everything I touched.

and forgiveness was the answer

and again

I couldn't understand.

because I could not see

I could not comprehend

that the person I needed to forgive

was me.

#chasingbutterflies