heartbeat

I don't have any children... not that I know of anyway.

I've never had to raise a living thing before... until now.

Kismet is the closest thing I have to a child, and she has definitely caused a disruption in my life.

In the past I was self centered.
doing what I wanted.
when I wanted.

But my life was empty and this emptiness was consuming me faster than I could run away from it.

I never wanted a dog in my life
then it happened
and everything changed.

I changed.

I was responsible for this heartbeat that chose me.
could no longer do what I wanted.
when I wanted.

my schedule revolved around making sure this fuzzy bum was living the best life.

and this is where thing begin to unravel.

Kismet is sick.
she can't talk to me to express what is going on
and she hides it well.

but I can see things aren't right.

been dealing with this allergy for months now
as it clears up
and then comes back.

I don't want her to be on medication for the rest of her life, so I try adjusting her diet and environment.

I'm frustrated when things don't work out, but I won't stop searching for a solution.

as I look over and see her goofy smile

I reflect how I used to be
when everything was about me
and now how everything is about her.

about an animal
about a heartbeat
that chose me.

#chasingbutterflies