I don't wanna grow up... I'm a Toys R Us kid...

tic is short for articulate which is the solution to the fundamental dysfunctional belief I had growing up... waiting for permission to speak, that my voice had no power, that my voice had no value.

the purpose behind the magazine was to crate a forum of expression for youth, CREATED by youth. To give them a space to share their ideas, art, culture and lifestyle without the middling eyes of adults.

youth is tired of the watered down, edited crap that the corporate world is crafting and forcing upon their eyes. they can see through the bullshit, they can see through the slick marketing, they can see through illusion that there is no signal in all that noise.

so for the youth of the world I revive my vision for you. I work to create this space that is made for you, by your own peers. no longer do you need to wait for permission to speak! look up and see the world as your own. flame that passion that is hiding in your heart, spread your glorious wings and fly! for the world of tomorrow exists in the imagination of the youth today.

I wrote this rant during a moment of inspiration earlier this summer, when I was thinking about this youth project I've envisioned creating.

When I reread my rant I can see images of adults telling kids:

• "you can't do that..."
• "you can't have that..."
• "you can't be that..."
• "you can't..."

I can feel the flame of pure desire flicker, get dimmer with every passing "can't" that passes by their ears. From a place of pure imagination and endless possibility, those dreams are crushed and replaced with a box of someone else's design.

We try to fit into their box. It is uncomfortable, it hurts, it is not fun. It is not what we wanted. We wanted to be free, to play in our sandbox, to run around, to laugh, to sing, to dance, to play.

To be alive!

I see the face of my inner child drift farther and father away as I grew older. Drifting away into the darkness of my mind. His voice drowned out by the noise of the world.

That's how we disconnect.

We forget about who we were, about what makes us happy. Gave it all up trying to "grow up". Then we don't understand why we are so unhappy with the life we have. All that time spent living a life we never intended, being someone we never wanted to be.

I just want to go out and play...

I close my eyes and see him glow with unbridled passion. Happiness flows from him, his laughter is contagious. The glimmer in his eyes is like staring into a star.

What happened to you? Where did you go?

"I grew up" is such a shitty answer and one he will not understand. But where did I go? I've been lost for so long I don't think I've gone anywhere except in circles.

But now I am aware of what happened. I can see.

So I dive deep into the darkness to find my little guy, to bring him back to the surface and have the warmth of passion once again kiss his face.

Together we will become who we are meant to be.
Together we will once again experience what it is like "to be alive".

#chasingbutterflies