june 17

June 17 has been a prominent day for me in the last 2 years.

On June 17, 2016 I walked into a experiential workshop, learned a new definition for ‘forgiveness’ and that started breaking down some of the walls I had built up in my mind.

On June 17, 2017 I crossed paths with Feather, a very special soul, who awoke me and ended up radically shifting my trajectory to vertical and I’ve been ascending ever since.

Now it is 2018 and when June began I’ve been aware not to focus too much on the 17th as the day approached, to not be anxious as to who I am speaking to, what I am doing or where I am and just let things unfold.

As I reflect upon the cycle that has just completed, and I only say “completed” in relation to the Gregorian calendar cycle as I know things are still continuing to unfold, I can’t believe how much change occurred in just one year.

I close my eyes and relive June 17, 2017.

what do you see…

A seemingly random sequence of events that had to happen in perfect order to allow my path to cross with Feather’s, then more of these random events had to continue happening in such a perfect order to allow for an opportunity for connection.

That is what I see.

Looking back it is mind bending how all of the moments lined up, as if was preordained at a cosmic level, and I have an immense amount of gratitude for whomever, or whatever, caused this to be.

I remember that version of me one year ago.

I was still lost, trying to find my way.
Trying to find myself.
Trying to find peace.

I was still running.
Numbing.
Escaping.

Looking back I can see I was slowly transforming, or as someone said to me “You aren’t done yet. You are still cooking and I look forward to seeing what you become.”

what do you want…

I was stuck. Still trying to find my purpose and a way to reignite my passion.

Back then I didn’t know that these two things were connected.

Then I was given of glimpse of a space that I never knew existed, it was a crack in the chrysalis and I wanted more.

I became a sponge and soaked it all up, so much happening so fast! Then I realized I couldn’t stop the flow from happening.

Downloading.
Processing.
Integrating.

I wasn’t prepared for this, but my curiosity overrode everything.

As I kept pushing forward I could feel the walls within me crumble, beliefs were questioned and shattered, then the gates to emotions were unlocked.

All of this happened in two months.

That is when I realized I have to be careful for what I wish for.

The chrysalis cracked.
The world I knew was unraveling.
And I couldn’t stop it.

why did you want to stop it…

Because it was all I knew! My whole identity was connected with that dysfunctional world. Who am I without it?

OK.

I was scared of letting go of “who I am” to start all over again.

“Letting go” was a choice I had to make and as the days passed, and the universe made sure I was given enough contrast to understand why.

A lot of my journey during this cycle is captured in this blog.

I learned to never say “never”.
I learned to let go of control.
I learned to be.

Time for me warps as I am constantly processing and integrating.

Connect.
Learn.
Love.
Live.
Grow.

One year has passed and within that time I have finally shed my old skin and entered into this new space.

As this page turns over and the next chapter begins, I feel my wings begin to unfold.

#chasingbutterflies