listening

I dreamt about it last night.

I pondered it some more this morning on my walk.

When I quieted my mind and listened, I heard what he had to say. Then I understood where this fear is born from.

scared to share the dream...

we have been laughed at every time in the past...

so we have always done it alone...

chased after the dream alone...

made it real alone...

But this time I can't do it alone.

The dream is too big.

Bigger than me, bigger than all of us.

So I have to share the dream with everyone.

To ask for support in order to make it real.

To be Vulnerable at a level I have never been before.

this is what I fear...

To take a chance to share my dream with the world and not be laughed at, told how silly I am and hear "Good luck trying to do that!"

That is the narrative I am working against.

This wound is very old and I thought I had healed it, but it hasn't fully.

I reflect back and become aware of the stories I shared over the last few days, of how many times I brought up the time my Uncle laughed at my dream when I was a child.

I know I also then share the story of what the anger of that moment did to me over time, as I did not know at that age how to process it.

But I do now.

I am not that young child anymore, even though I carry the wounds.

I see the narrative for what it is. Protection.

protection...

I understand that you don't want to be hurt like that again. But we can't help anyone get out of the darkness if you won't let me share.

I am here now for you.

here now...

Yes. I know I wasn't for you back then, but I am here now.

And I won't let anyone laugh at your dream, our dream... as this isn't about us.

This is about everyone else.

#chasingbutterflies