lost

no matter how much time passes
no matter how much healing happens
I still find this empty space that exists within me.

which can only be filled with connection.

I don't know exactly when I lost it.
I have forgotten the circumstances of when the moment happened.
but I do know it's been there for a long time.

I close my eyes and imagine being embraced.
the warm glow that comes when understanding that you have been chosen.
the safety felt when being held in their arms.

all of that is nothing but a faint echo that whispers in my heart.

I've walked enough under the stars alone
I'm tired of experiencing this world with no one to share it with.
I've forgotten the joy of waking up to a smile.

I don't fear facing my demons, as I continue to and vanquish them.

by doing this I've created space for new experiences, but only to realize I've enjoyed them by myself.

I'm feeling so lost right now.

wondering what I need to do
to create the space for you
so my soul can look up and smile again.

as there is someone to play with in the sandbox.

#chasingbutterflies