progress

this weekend I finally had the last refinished trim pieces in hand, and then bolted back together Maxine, my motorcycle.

as I looked at her I felt proud!
accomplished.
but in the back of my mind I am aware of things left unfinished.

left unfinished...

yeah.

things I started and left half finished
or I got distracted
or I fell back into old habits.

I think about my resolution for 2022 about getting back in shape.

that went 8 days in a row,
then I got COVID and stopped.
well it's been 2 months now.

it's not like I haven't thought about it!

thought about it...

yeah.

I walk by my workout space and see the boxing gloves right where I left them.

my mind drifts to the podcast I launched last year and reminded of the episodes that need editing.

as I feel a wave of guilt crest over me, I glance over to my bike and I become aware of a pattern.

a very clear pattern.

everything I finished,
I started with a definitive vision of what the end result would be.

everything I haven't finished,
well...
I just started.

just started...

yup. just started.

you know... "this is a great idea!"
don't think,
just do!

and I do! do! do!

but then it fizzled out and now I understand why.

I reflect on this as I walk around looking at Maxine. while I reassembled her in a few hours, it took months for all of the pieces to be ready.

disassembled a section
cleaned it up
put it aside.

refinished a piece when I had time
painted it
let it dry.

my OCD flared up hard at times, and then I had to remind myself that only I can see the flaws because that part is all by itself.

piece by piece
step by step
progress not perfection.

it all added up and in the end she ended up exactly as I envisioned.

the colours, the textures. everything!

so in this space I reflect
on my workout resolution
on the podcast

on everything I let fizzle out.

I whisper "why am I doing this?"
and then close my eyes and envision
what I want the end result to be.

before I start again.

#chasingbutterflies