swimming

Three days ago, my puppy Kismet became aware that she knew how to swim and I couldn't have felt more proud at that moment.

Since then I have brought her back to that beach spot, as well as taking her to the canyon so she can test her newly found skills in the fresh water pools hidden there.

As I reflect back on the last 72 hours I see her growth. From the puppy that was anxious and scared of what is out there in the waters before her, to taking that 'leap of doggo faith' and experiencing new found freedom.

she is only a projection of you...

As I reflect back on the last 72 hours I see me. Anxious and scared of what is out there in this new world that is before me, but I have not taken that 'leap of faith' and until I do, I won't experience anything new.

Deep down inside I am scared of what is coming, for all of it is new and I get to experience it, get to feel all of it, with this expanded emotional range.

Deep down inside I don't believe I am ready.

you don't believe you are ready...

Yes!

Well... no.

Maybe.

maybe...

My thoughts go back to the conversation I had with Feather last week. In my mind I hear her voice echo "it sure doesn't sound like you question your abilities to do it, but it does sound like you question your self worth. You question if you are worthy to do it."

This is the root of my hesitation.

I see Kismet in my mind's eye peering into the waters ahead of her, whimpering as she is unwilling to take the plunge as she doesn't believe every thing will be OK if she does.

She wants to get that stick I threw out of her reach, but she doesn't take that next step.

what do you see...

I see her playing with that other dog three days ago.
I see her chasing after a stick.
I see her go for it and not thinking about what happens next.

Then she started swimming.

how... why...

How? Because she was having fun.
Why? Because she is living in the now.

She is living in the now.
She didn't project into the future and conjured up all sorts of possibilities.
She didn't buy into an illusion.

But I did.

I'm crafting future projections, believing them and also fearing them.

I'm looking at what "might be" and forgetting about what is happening now.

I'm not living in the now.
I'm not having fun.

I guess there is something this old dog can learn from this puppy.

#chasingbutterflies