tolerance

It has taken me a long, long time to finally take in and understand the impact of the following words:

If there is something in your space that you do not like, and you do nothing about it, then you have chosen to tolerate it.

Only until today did something finally click and I started taking action in removing things that I tolerate from my space, from my life.

Prior to this moment I realized I tolerated a lot. What comes along with this tolerance is a shit ton of negative dialogue that only I hear, as I am the one speaking.

Example?

Last year it was the blank wall I would look at every day, which I intended to paint a mural I sketched out.

Days, weeks then months past and every time I looked at that blank wall I hated myself. Asked myself "why haven't you painted it?" and came up with numerous excuses, which piled on the guilt and shame and I tolerated this.

As time passed I could feel this negativity compound until I couldn't take it any more, took action and painted the mural.

7 months of self inflicted torture was resolved in a week.

Today I reflected on my situation, my space, and realized just how much I choose to tolerate.

Yes.
Read that again.
How much I choose to tolerate.

And what's stopping me from taking action? Nothing but the stories I create and tell myself.

But I am now aware that every time I look at "whatever I don't like" and don't do anything about it, that I am just setting myself up for drip torture.

The "would've", "could've", "should've" trio of bash brothers arrive to join Guilt and Shame to start methodically beating down on my psyche.

And I let it happen.

Over time you, I, get used to this beatdown as it happens internally.
It happens every second of every day.
And no one can stop it but you.

awareness... choice...

I understand that I'm not going to undo decades of conditioning overnight, but I can start today!

Make a list, pick an item, resolve it.
Take a moment to say to myself "Nice work!"
Repeat.

different results...

My physical space is clearing up for new things, which means my mental space is also clearing up for new things as well.

No space = no room for new experiences.

So the more space I clear up, the bigger the next experience that is coming can be.

I'm not going to bother asking myself "Why didn't you do this sooner?".

I'm happy I'm doing something about it now.

So ask yourself... "What am I choosing to tolerate?"

#chasingbutterflies